Tuesday, November 24, 2009

The Indian Express

My wife said that we have to switch over to The Indian Express.
“Why can’t we also subscribe to The Indian Express and read all the leaked news instead of reading about some Techies being hijacked and murdered and how bad the traffic jam is going to be today with that lady with the saree over her head trying to fly some plane”
I said: “Its not good to read leaked news, and shame on you. You don’t know the name of the president of India. You have to give everyone a chance. It cannot be Kalaam forever”
Meanwhile my son interjected: “Papa what is this Liberhan report?”
Me “It’s a long story son. But the jist of it is that nobody did anything 17 years ago”
Mother-in-law : “Oh my God look they are demolishing the . . . . . . . . .”
Me : “for Gawd’s sake. . . . .where is that remote. . . . . . .some one please put that TV off.. . . . .. ..Ma I told you umpteen times what they are showing is something that happened many many years ago”
Son: “So what happened 17 years ago?”
Me :“Son, do you know what Bofors is?”
Son: “No”
Me : “See, that is why commissions and inquiries are set up. At regular intervals they will open and close the files so that every generation down the line will know what Bofors is”
Son: “Papa that picture you took of the Taj hotel, was it before or after the incident?”
The Taj Hotel
Me : “What incident? No incident happened there”
Son: “But Pa, we have video footing of Kasab with an automatic. . . . . “
Me : “Don’t jump to conclusions. Those video things are the result of some faulty CCTV installed at the wrong places. Investigations are going on and maybe after about 17 years we will hear actually what happened and where the bullet proof jacket disappeared. It will also be established that the Judge was right in giving Kasab non-veg biriyani in the prison. For all you know he may be put in a rubber dinghy and send back the way he came. Poor fellow”
Son: “and the other picture that you took in the night, was it because you knew that it would be torched in the night”
The Taj Hotel
Me: “What utter rubbish. Don’t go about spreading such rumors. I just clicked some pictures because I liked the way Taj Hotel looked at night. As it is I am having a bad name because people are using my pictures in their blogs and Viquipedia in some foreign language which I can't read. Somebody has even put it on Newspapers24.com , whatever that is. . . . . . .Hey who put that TV on again?”
Wife: “Aha there is our PM. I hope Obama bends properly when he greets our prime minister”
Me: “It is not for us to decide the degree of difficulty whenever Obama meets heads of states”
Mother-in-law: “With our PM in the USA and our President in Pune who is going to take care of our country in the centre?”
Me” “Don’t worry Ma, this is not a classroom where we need some one to mind the class. We have got some well behaved elected members in the centre who can take care of us. After all we have elected them”
Son: “But Pa you did not tell me what Bofors is”
Me: “So far I have only understood that it is some big gun and something to do with some one by the name of Quattroachi”


Anu said...

that was great!! I can imagine such a conversation between me and my son a couple of years from now.. when he starts reading the news.......

Reena said...

You have the uncanny knack of coming up with just the right combination of humor,content and pics to garnish your stories :)

G said...

Plagiarism! But at least you have got the credits. Sometimes you have to make do without them too. :)

Anyway, how we shield our kids from the facts of life na? :) I am sure, he will learn about it someday and will smile. Prolly the same conversation will take place between him and his son. :D

RamMmm said...

Haddock, Thanks for dropping by at my trickles and that note on Calvin.

Your answers to your son are similar to what Calvin's dad says to him in reply to his questions. Hilarious. :-)

Neha said...

Thanks for dropping by and leaving your mark (comment)!

It's difficult to answer those so many questions that the little ones pose infront of us, knowing that sooner or later, they'd know the ugly truth of the world we live in!

Read few posts and quite liked them... funny...and at the same time thought-provoking! Great job!

Keep writing :)

Crazy Four said...

A well read, concerned family you have.May Indians wake to the stinging humour

Ugich Konitari said...

You know what, I think everyone in your family had some very VALID questions. Some of them have been asked in my house too....:-)

Enjoyed this post...

J.S. said...

Hilarious! Enjoyed this post a great deal.

kavita said...

What an interesting and gripping post...hilarious and thought provoking too.The night shot of the Taj is amazing.Looking forward for more from you.

kavita said...

Just to let you know ,i am sharing this post with my friends in FB.

Mr. Pramathesh™ Borkotoky said...

"Faulty CCTV installed at wrong places"

Good Idea. They can use it in the commission report. :D

R. Ramesh said...

thanks buddy Cheers:)

Joseph Pulikotil said...



Very hilarious post. You have very humorously brought out the futility of the commissions and the collossal waste of public money and the uselessness of the reports made by commissions.

They were hounding Q all over the world spending crores of rupees and after so many years they have closed the file. Some one is responsible for this. Surely we have to find out who is responsible. The best thing to do is to set up a commission. What do you think?

The photos are splendid.

Have a nice day and best wishes to your wonderful family:)

Sandhya said...

Hello, Nice to know you, Haddock! Your have got great sense of humour together with concern for our country.

"Faulty CCTV installed at wrong places" I liked the whole post but just quoted one line! The govt. has spent around 31 crores on Kasab already. Like Kashmir bleeds India, Kasab is doing his share. We are fools.

The photographs are beautiful. You have got a nice family! I am going to read your future posts and enjoy! Thank you!

By the way, I loved the '1940 Jive' and sending it to many people and your URL too!

Sapna Anu B.George said...

so true to words joe........absolutly

Haddock said...


@ Sandhya, you are the first person who has mentioned about the 1940 Jive.
Glad you noticed. I added it in my profile specifically for all music lovers.

@ Joseph: good to see you here after a long time.

@Kavita :Good to know that it was gripping for your. (pssst what is FB?)

@Neha: Welcome & enjoy.

@G: Shield our kids ? Ha ha ......for all those who took it seriously......the above post was a figment of my imagination and no such dialogue took place.

@ Crazy Four: More stinging humor coming your way.

@ Reena: Its the other way around. I build up the story around a picture !!

@Anu: Hope things improve when your kids grow up.

@Ugich Konitari: You mean there was a deja vu there too ?

@JS : welcome

Daisy Blue said...

Different perspective & nice way of bringing those memories..

Nisha said...

wow.. that was an interesting post!like the flow with which u write n maintain the curiosity of the reader.. thanks for visiting my blog..will b back soon :)

magiceye said...

:) refreshing!

Basant Narayan Singh said...

Ohhh that was funny! Everyone of us can relate to your post to some extent. Enjoyed it.

kavita said...

FB...Face Book.

bluebird said...

Denial could be therapeutic too, dont you think?

Insignia said...

Phew!!! This was so right!! What sarcasm!!
On a serious thought; maybe this would what might happen - sending off Kasab in that rubber dinghy!!!

Destiny's child... said...

Lol..that was a nice read...Loved the generous sprinkling of the twisted, interesting humour ;)

Sakhi said...

First time here and love the way you write... awesome! :)